Want to get dates? Then TELL PEOPLE you want to date. Punch fear in the face, toss those long, lustrous locks of hair back, and climb to the top of the nearest mountain/molehill/monkey bars with your bejeweled-n-bedazzled megaphone. Blast out the message to the universe (or at least a few hundred of its finest inhabitants). Here’s how:
1. Make a list of all the people you know who you haven’t talked to in a while and who it wouldn’t be too awkward to send a message to. You’re not seeking business, you’re not writing a brag-piece, you’re just asking about what they’re up to in the world and sharing what you’re up to as well. Keep your tone light, kind, open, and helpful. About 3/4 of the way through, mention your search for someone wonderful and ask if they can introduce you to someone. Remember, it’s not grasp-y or desperate if you do it with warmth, sincerity, and confidence.
2. List all the places you go during the week. (Coffee shop, favorite lunch spot, grocery store, dry cleaner, gym, etc.) Now make a list of alternatives. You’ll still get the job done and the errand run, but just at a different location. So, for example, if you go to the Starbucks at 29th & Rock on your way to work, you’re now going to go to the Starbucks at Central & Rock. (No drive-thru allowed! The only person you meet from the front seat of your car is the barista at the window. Go inside, stand in line, and speak to the person in front of you and the person behind you.) Talk about the past weekend. Talk about the upcoming weekend. Talk about the weather. Just make a connection, and once you do talk about how those weekends and that weather would be all the better with someone to share them with. Have your personal contact cards (like business cards, only for social life — I recommend email address only, no phone) ready.
3. Where do you hang out online? Do your Facebook friends know you’re in the market for a boyfriend/husband? Are there any FB groups you can join that will open up and expand your social life? Tell your Twitter followers about the hottie fixing your sprinkler head with a “Wonder if he’s single? Would love to find a Mr. Fix-It of my own” tweet. Do you blog? The point is, put your entire circle on alert. Think of everyone you know as a potential date scout.
The key is to talk, walk, and think with the energy and attitude of looking for opportunities to share your desire for a significant other and recruit others to mobilize on your behalf. If you have your own suggestions and ideas about how to do this, I’d love to hear from you.
P.S. Special thanks to Sarah Yost and Rachel Greenwald for planting seeds in my brain; I promise to try to keep it weeded!