How do I Define Success as a Dating Coach?

Provide a service that feels good to give + Create resonance & significance + Imbue the process with Constant and Never Ending Improvement = Success (And a big bonus would always be nice…!)

Seth Godin analyzes marketing aims and marketing misses in his blog: Avoiding False Metrics. He notes that a book may deserve to be on the bestseller list. A film may deserve an Academy Award. A soldier may deserve a hero’s homecoming and a medal of honor. A beauty pageant contestant may deserve the sash and crown. But sometimes the systems by which “worthiness” is determined and awards are given are “Crooked and unfair,” Godin says.

I see this all the time in the dating industry: award categories are established by the people who work in those areas of expertise. Nominations are sought from the companies who are the contenders. Voting is closed-circuit, so to speak. The people who have the access to the vote are the people who nominated themselves and each other in the first place. It’s not necessarily a consumer-driven means of evaluation. It’s self-congratulatory.

On the one hand, the people who are DOING it, are best equipped to EVALUATE it. And there is a place for this standard of measurement. But on the other hand, the system excludes the consumer. It doesn’t ask the question, “What were your RESULTS?”

So, I believe there is also a place for the lone-ranger of Dating who would rather put your wedding photo (or even a thank you note!) on the shelf by her desk than a 8×10 slab of wood with a little engraved plate that reads “Dating Diva” “Dating Goddess” or any other marketing-driven designation. You’d be surprised at the number of intra-industry awards systems that are created so that a PR person has a reason to send out a press release about their firm’s latest “achievement.”

There are probably dozens of sound career-driving reasons to aim for the brass ring of your industry, whether it’s carpet cleaning or fixing people up. But there are just as many reasons to not bother with it. Awards do not define your art and craft, but they might mean that more people get to see it. For me, it boils down to this: First, and always fundamentally, I pour my heart into something that I hope will resonate with single individuals and elevate them. Then, my heart glows as it spreads like wildfire.

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