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The Value of the Dollar you Spend on Better Dating

Regular blog readers know I often find inspiration and interesting points for discussion in a blog written by Danielle LaPorte. She’s done it once again by posing some questions to ask yourself before you drop big bucks on a purchase – and her advice applies beautifully to readers who are considering whether to make the investment in coaching!

Spending, she points out, isn’t just about economics. It’s also about emotion. Some people will drive a mile out of their way to use a coupon, find a sale, or comparison shop – in order to save a buck. Some people have what they want delivered. The “value of a dollar” depends on the spender. It depends on the spender’s priorities in terms of how she uses her time and it depends on her motivations for acquiring the item (food, shoes, whatever) in the first place.

The value you place on money is largely driven by habit and feeling. Behind every dollar you spend – and the dollars you could spend but don’t — there’s an emotion attached to it. If you’re thinking about investing in your love life, if you’re thinking about working with a dating coach or matchmaker, do this first: Get clear on the emotional driver.

Ask yourself: Is this going to give me pleasure? Is it going to give me peace? Is it going to give me hope? Is it going to give me inspiration? Is it going to give me impetus?

I personally thrive on delivering those emotions. But I’m more effective when you’re more authentic. You know those panicky purchases when you buy something to look cool, to impress someone, or to compete with someone? You know those self-soothing purchases to lift a sagging mood or anesthetize a painful feeling? You’re putting down your credit card and the “lift” is momentary and superficial because you really feel all reticent and anxious inside.

Yah, don’t get a dating coach for that. You won’t be happy in the long-run. And I probably won’t dig it that much either.

Ask yourself: Is this going to help me get the results in my love life that I’m aiming for? When you’re focused on finding an amazing relationship partner, you tend to value the present moment more and you value other relationships more. Don’t veer off course by hooking up with a dating coach or matchmaker for the wrong reasons. We don’t want to be somebody’s showboat.

Ask yourself: Does this purchase help other people somehow — including the people I’m purchasing from? Does this support your community, your industry, anyone other than you and a manufacturer in China? If you’re working with a local expert, you better believe it does! That’s good economic karma, darling!

Ask yourself: Is this going to make things easier for me and free me up so that I can pursue other passions and pleasures? Going out, socializing, meeting up for a coffee date – it takes time. A LOT of time. If the potential for getting pleasure and usefulness from your spending matches up with your budget, then maybe it makes sense to connect with a professional who can help you free up your time to pursue other interests! If you do your home work, follow your coach’s advice, then turn your attention to living a life you love . . . that’s usually when someone wonderful turns up!

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