Many people now favor electronic and digital communication as their primary form of communication. But one man who wrote to “Dear Abby” recently complained that his girlfriend of 5 years was spending all her free time at the computer on Facebook and messaging friends. He feels ignored as she spends the evening posting status updates and playing games. He feels he’s lost her to a virtual world and his attempts at voicing his concerns lead to arguments. Her level of Internet and social media use is so extreme that it’s harming the relationship and isolating her significant other.
Abby responded that “People cannot be two places at once. When relationships aren’t nurtured, they wither. If this has been going on for an extended period, then it’s time you give your girlfriend a wake-up call: you feel abandoned. By spending more time in the virtual world than in the real one, she is neglecting her relationship with you.”
This is certainly true, but there is a diagnosis that the man who signs himself ALONE IN THE REAL WORLD may need to consider: addiction. The risk-reward pattern of checking email messages and social media updates is similar to that of gambling (though without the financial risk) and an addiction to online activity can be as real as to other mood-altering substances and activities. I would advise him to read up on this so he can be informed and prepared when he confronts his girlfriend.
Abby goes on to advise him: “Ask her if she would be willing to work on a compromise so that she spends time with you. If she can’t do that, and the Internet is giving her everything she needs, then you should find a lady who is willing to give you more of what YOU need, which is undivided attention.” And if this gentleman wants a little assistance in THAT department, well I just happen to know of a great dating strategist who specializes in that very thing! ????