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The Limits of Online Dating

Some dating industry professionals – particularly matchmakers – believe that online dating sites amount to nothing more than electronic personal ads and they fervently believe that these sites are failing consumers in large numbers. Many also believe that the nature of these websites is fundamentally deceptive.

It is probably true that there is a greater emphasis placed on sales and marketing with online dating sites and less on success outcomes and helping consumers. However, I still favor the limited and competent, well-informed use of these sites as a means to an end . . . so long as one manages one’s expectations and uses online dating as one of several tools in their dating toolbox.

As a matchmaker and dating coach, I agree that it is a major psychological undertaking to deal with the modern single person and that there are more factors than ever going into matching people. I believe that the personality factors in matching are very important for compatability as are lifestyle factors. We also have to take into account the constantly changing society we live in and media influences on single peoples’ idea of physical attraction.

I also believe that a strong connection of value systems should be present in order to achieve a lasting match and in working with single people I try to take into account past relationship history and formative influences from childhood and adolescence in the formation of attraction patterns or attraction templates. In many cases, the thinking or reasoning process of the single individual must be challenged or unraveled which is something that an algorithm attached to a portal full of personal ads can’t do.

Again, there are things that only another human being – an educated, skilled human being – can do that an online dating site cannot do. The wise online dater understands and accepts these limits and supplements their dating efforts with the “best practices” and advice of a dating expert.

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