Each of us has an unwritten but deeply inscribed “book” inside that catalogs our insanities, insecurities, and imperfections… but when do you show your lover those chapters? I’ve been enamored, of late, with The Course of Love, a book by Allain de Botton, and his other work exploring and exposing Romanticism. (He has books, videos, newsletters, and more, if the bug of debunking romanticism bites you too!) He says in one of his lectures that “We don’t need people to be perfec
Tyler: Tyler is a busy entrepreneur who had spent his 20’s building a thriving business. His team at work was his pseudo-family but he wanted something more. He wanted to meet a woman who was smart, kind, and had a passion for life. Oh, and not afraid of the outdoors! He reached out to us and after an extensive interview, we determined he was someone we could make a difference for so we began a 6 month matchmaking program with him. Around month 3 we introduced him to Quinn, a
Fall is upon us, the end of the year is around the corner. Did you make New Years Resolutions at the beginning of this year? I know, the conversation should be all about jack-o-lanterns, pumpkin spice lattes, and falling leaves but, I'm not one to stick to the script. So I'll ask again: Did you set (and keep) New Year's Resolutions? Did you follow through? Maybe you resolved to branch out, challenge yourself, and try something new. Maybe meeting someone new was one of your re
As men, each one of us owns the responsibility of creating an environment and connection that will entice the object of our affection to crave us. To some degree, this is luck. Sometimes people’s personalities and energies just dovetail perfectly. Sometimes, in rare situations, the normal strategies don’t work or are not even tried, and an enchanting tangling of souls and bodies occurs regardless. But if you want to ensure you have a connection and repeat dates and sexua
You’ve tried all the best restaurants. You’ve seen every movie that’s out! You love spending time with your partner, but you’re running out of things to do. Here’s a list of some odd-but-promising date activities that will infuse fresh energy into your dating routine. 1. Go to a mattress store and test out mattresses together. (We mean, like, just lay down and rest on them — please don’t take this sideways — yet!) 2. Watch a depressing movie together. But make a drinking gam
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Everyone wants love. No one wants rejection. This is fact. It is basic to human nature. Ben Franklin said, “If you would be loved, love and be lovable.” That sounds cute. Seems sensible. But have you ever put yourself out there, served up a big ‘ol whoppin' serving of, “Here I am, I’m awesome, come and play with me!” and were met with, “No thanks. I’ll pass.” Or, um, crickets? I have. Ouchey mama! What do you do with that kind of rejection?
Your couch keeps you comfortable. That’s kind of the essence, form, and function of it, right? However, comfort is the antithesis of what it takes to get you up and out and socializing and dating. The saying “Life starts outside your comfort zone” is totally true. If you enjoy sports, attend sporting events. If you enjoy the arts, attend arts & cultural events. Strike up conversations with individuals in ticket lines, coffee lines, grocery store lines, any lines! (I got hit o
Shame. It’s been a hot topic in the self-help universe since Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly came out. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a long time. But I wasn’t ready yet. I had my own shame to process: Shame over projects started but not finished (at least not very quickly). Shame about squishy, jiggly, middle-of-the-body parts.
Shame about relationships that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would. Shame about other people's feelings I disregarded or trampled on.
There is one debate that’s been tossed around in relationship conversations since the Rob Reiner movie, When Harry Met Sally and Friends with Benefits starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake: whether men and women can really be friends, like the platonic (well kind of platonic when referring to Friends with Benefits…I mean like being friends.) Many relationship experts will insist that a lasting male/female friendship is impossible. But then I have friends who are matchmake
Guys do it. Girls do it. We put on the glasses that allow us to look at a red flag and see it as white. (Or maybe a pale and palatable shade of pink!) You might say they’re “Bleaching Lenses” because they have the power to distort the way you perceive someone’s behavior. You want to be the girlfriend (you’re trying so hard to be the girlfriend!) but thanks to those lenses that help you bleach red flags white (with thanks to Jenny McCarthy for turning that phrase), you might d
I ask this question because how you answer is a reflection of what you really want. And it’s time to get honest about what you really want. In just about every first date situation, you’ll be asked, “How would you describe yourself?” or instructed to “Tell me about yourself!” If you're not asked that explicitly, other questions will be lobbed your way that will essentially try to parse out the same information. While this is something that should be expected and thought throu
If you are guilty of at least one (or a few), you're not alone. Even my married friends are making at least one of these relationship mistakes! Let me explain... In the play Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe – a drama I studied enthusiastically in grad school that has remained memorable all these years later — Doctor Faustus, a German scholar, grew discontent with the limits of traditional forms of knowledge and learning. He yearned to go beyond law, logic, medicine, and rel