A first date is often nerve-racking, especially if we’ve been out of the game for a while. The truth is, almost everyone is nervous on a first date, including the person you’re going on the date with. Sometimes even the 2nd, 3rd, or 403rd date can cause a little anxiety. I’ve compiled 5 tips that I’ve recommended to clients in the past and also applied in my own life. Read on and conquer that dating anxiety! 1. You’ve heard that saying “Check yourself before you wreck yoursel
Each of us has an unwritten but deeply inscribed “book” inside that catalogs our insanities, insecurities, and imperfections… but when do you show your lover those chapters? I’ve been enamored, of late, with The Course of Love, a book by Allain de Botton, and his other work exploring and exposing Romanticism. (He has books, videos, newsletters, and more, if the bug of debunking romanticism bites you too!) He says in one of his lectures that “We don’t need people to be perfec
Misnomers and Misunderstandings. Inaccuracies and incongruities. Contradictions and deceptions. I come across a lot of them as I talk to people who are navigating the world of dating and relationship. Sometimes it seems like part of my job as a dating coach is to gently point out the blind spots and the logical fallacies in thinking, or fill in the missing pieces of information. Sometimes they are outright "lies we tell ourselves." Usually, they're limiting beliefs or limited
Tyler: Tyler is a busy entrepreneur who had spent his 20’s building a thriving business. His team at work was his pseudo-family but he wanted something more. He wanted to meet a woman who was smart, kind, and had a passion for life. Oh, and not afraid of the outdoors! He reached out to us and after an extensive interview, we determined he was someone we could make a difference for so we began a 6 month matchmaking program with him. Around month 3 we introduced him to Quinn, a
Fall is upon us, the end of the year is around the corner. Did you make New Years Resolutions at the beginning of this year? I know, the conversation should be all about jack-o-lanterns, pumpkin spice lattes, and falling leaves but, I'm not one to stick to the script. So I'll ask again: Did you set (and keep) New Year's Resolutions? Did you follow through? Maybe you resolved to branch out, challenge yourself, and try something new. Maybe meeting someone new was one of your re
The thought crosses almost every person’s mind who has been single for a long time: Will I ever “find the one?” or will I be “forever alone?” The answer is all based on your attitude. Believing that you are doomed to be alone is a negative belief and negativity is love repellent, instantly killing chemistry’s chances of making a match. Meeting people, interacting, and dating are all dependent on the inner energy -- the attitude and aura -- we put out into the world. For insta
As men, each one of us owns the responsibility of creating an environment and connection that will entice the object of our affection to crave us. To some degree, this is luck. Sometimes people’s personalities and energies just dovetail perfectly. Sometimes, in rare situations, the normal strategies don’t work or are not even tried, and an enchanting tangling of souls and bodies occurs regardless. But if you want to ensure you have a connection and repeat dates and sexua
[Also published at 360Wichita.com]
Everyone wants love. No one wants rejection. This is fact. It is basic to human nature. Ben Franklin said, “If you would be loved, love and be lovable.” That sounds cute. Seems sensible. But have you ever put yourself out there, served up a big ‘ol whoppin' serving of, “Here I am, I’m awesome, come and play with me!” and were met with, “No thanks. I’ll pass.” Or, um, crickets? I have. Ouchey mama! What do you do with that kind of rejection?
Shame. It’s been a hot topic in the self-help universe since Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly came out. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a long time. But I wasn’t ready yet. I had my own shame to process: Shame over projects started but not finished (at least not very quickly). Shame about squishy, jiggly, middle-of-the-body parts.
Shame about relationships that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would. Shame about other people's feelings I disregarded or trampled on.
Maybe you feel invisible amidst all the online dating profiles. Maybe you feel invisible when you walk into a crowded cocktail party, fundraiser, or networking event. Your only friend there is your cell phone or the cheese platter, maybe? Maybe you feel invisible on the weekends when you hole up at home, getting your errands and chores done, and before you know it, the weekend is over and you haven’t gone anywhere or done anything fun – or met anybody new. I provide an invisi
There is one debate that’s been tossed around in relationship conversations since the Rob Reiner movie, When Harry Met Sally and Friends with Benefits starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake: whether men and women can really be friends, like the platonic (well kind of platonic when referring to Friends with Benefits…I mean like being friends.) Many relationship experts will insist that a lasting male/female friendship is impossible. But then I have friends who are matchmake
Guys do it. Girls do it. We put on the glasses that allow us to look at a red flag and see it as white. (Or maybe a pale and palatable shade of pink!) You might say they’re “Bleaching Lenses” because they have the power to distort the way you perceive someone’s behavior. You want to be the girlfriend (you’re trying so hard to be the girlfriend!) but thanks to those lenses that help you bleach red flags white (with thanks to Jenny McCarthy for turning that phrase), you might d
I ask this question because how you answer is a reflection of what you really want. And it’s time to get honest about what you really want. In just about every first date situation, you’ll be asked, “How would you describe yourself?” or instructed to “Tell me about yourself!” If you're not asked that explicitly, other questions will be lobbed your way that will essentially try to parse out the same information. While this is something that should be expected and thought throu
Intimate relationships are never easy and career success can never be taken for granted, but for women looking for that elusive “work-life balance,” the equation becomes even more challenging. Ambitious, self-assured women looking for more joy, more passion, more connection, and more abundance in life are usually going at it alone – even when they’re in a relationship with a significant other. At The Date Maven, we use our combined coaching experience to tackle the relationsh
If you are guilty of at least one (or a few), you're not alone. Even my married friends are making at least one of these relationship mistakes! Let me explain... In the play Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe – a drama I studied enthusiastically in grad school that has remained memorable all these years later — Doctor Faustus, a German scholar, grew discontent with the limits of traditional forms of knowledge and learning. He yearned to go beyond law, logic, medicine, and rel